09-17-01

You know, when you work a lousy 9-5 which is actually an 8:30 - 5:30 or sometimes 9 - 9 or occasionally 9 - midnight job you wind up with not a lot to say. Yeah, I worked today. I came home, ate some dinner, watched some TV. It's so goddamn lame. It is certainly not worth writing about. I want to resist that TV. It is the bane of my existence. For at least 2 years, I didn't have a TV. I can't even remember what it was like, now. It seduces me. I spend less time creating things. Can't you tell, I'm trying to fiddle while Rome burns? But when the energy is low…oh, it's been a long day. I deserve a chance to just RELAX. Sit down. Vegetate. Become an empty receptacle. A passive tool. Burning precious life minutes with venal entertainment. Zombie-fied. Dead to the world. It makes it easier to bear the pain of living, by turning off the desire to live.

There was a moment today, when I was told about an upcoming project I'm going to be working on, and it was all I could do not to puke. I mean, it's all so goddamn meaningless. If you work with me and read that, I'm just kidding. Ha-ha.