| 08-25-01 Can you make a DVD player sound like a dying giraffe? I can. Friday night my friend Elwood was over. Elizabeth went and crashed in the bedroom with Shadow and Ares. Elwood likes to drink vintage Busch so I try to keep some in my fridge for months at a time, just for him. Elwood & I hung out with Mary Jane for a couple hours watching Monty Python on DVD. Elwood is a great fan of Mary Jane (and her musical stylings) so he said it was great to see how Mary Jane and I had become friends over time. Everything was under control. Then I knocked over a wine glass, and it snapped in half. Ten minutes later, I went to change the DVD, got distracted for a second, and forgot to remove the previous DVD before putting in the new one. The machine made a whirring sound as if it was both sick and very mad at me. Call me Officer Bob Baker. We couldn't get it to spit the DVDs back out, neither by pressing all the buttons nor by turning it on and off. Finally, we stuck a credit card in the slot at the top of the drawer, and it made a sound like a buzz saw. That finally triggered it to release the booty. If that story didn't make complete sense to you, then we'll keep it on a need to know, FYI, FYEO, S&M, basis only. Here is a true story that needs no secret codes: My grandparents owned a parakeet that they sometimes allowed free in the house. Grandma liked to race it down the hall. The parakeet had been known to hop up and down on a slab of hot steak. The bird would sometimes try to land on Grandpa's head but because he's bald, it would slide right off the back. That's a pretty hilarious sight: A parakeet trying to land on a bald guy's head and sliding off. I'll continue Gargoyle Fred's story on Sunday. |
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