8/21/01

On the bus today, heading to the doctor's office for my back exam (which I failed), I saw a sign that said "Briskman & Briskman, Attorneys at Law." Immediately, of course, I thought: TV sitcom.

"Good MORNING, Briskman."

"Good morning, BRISKMAN."

"Isn't it wonderful to be a Briskman, Briskman."

"It is indeed wonderful, Briskman."

"You know what makes it so wonderful, Briskman?"

"What's that, Briskman?"

"We're good looking, we're lawyers, and we're wealthy."

"Right you are, Briskman."

Intro music plays. Singers come in "It's Briskman & Briskman, Attorneys at Law. They're two lawyers who are good looking, wealthy, and lawyers. And, by coincidence, they're names are both Briskman."

Ring! That must be the phone.

"Hello, Briskman & Briskman."

"Yeah, I'd like to speak to Briskman."

"Which one, sir?"

Pause.

"I was told to call. Just give me Briskman."

"Can I say what this is in regards to?"

"Litigation. Bucketfuls of litigation."

"Is this a civil or criminal case?"

"Just put goddamn Briskman on the line."

"Ah, you'll be wanting Briskman, then."

Pause.

"Hello. Briskman here."

"Yeah. I wanna sue several large objects."

"I see. This sounds like a case for…Briskman."

"Briskman here."

"Yeah. I wanna sue several large objects."

"Consider the case closed. After all…We're Briskman & Briskman!"

Big ideas. I got millions of 'em.

What I'm reading now: The latest issue of Juxtapoz magazine, my favorite magazine. I sent them a copy of my novel Death by Zamboni, but they didn't review it. At least not yet. I can dream.

The new novel by Tom Robbins, Fierce Invalids Home from Hot Climates. So far, it's got the usual wacky Robbins antics, the energetic and entertaining language, and the obsession with sex that you'd expect from him. However, I think the focus on underage women isn't so much transgressive as sexist. But I like it so far.

The screenplay for Ghost World. If you haven't seen it, you should. If you liked Welcome to The Dollhouse, you'll like Ghost World.

And, finally, I'm also reading Who's Laughing Now? A compilation of comics by Evan Dorkin. I have to say, I'm a bit disappointed. I love Hectic Planet by Dorkin, but I don't find this mishmash of stories very funny. Hectic Planet has a great group of characters and an out-of-control futuristic world. I guess I enjoy his longer narratives better than these short one-offs.


I love how on the el, on the way downtown, the recorded voice says, "This is Grand. Thank you for riding the CTA redline." This is grand. Isn't it? Well, isn't it?